Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
