i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
