He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
