I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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