dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We smell like vodka and hangover
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