real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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