Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize