I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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