I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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