Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
