You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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