I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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