you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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