My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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