i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
