just tell him i said nine months
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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