he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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