I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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