I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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