I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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