We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
