ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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