Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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