PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
