How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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