I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
