As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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