only if we run a train.
done.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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