I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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