If i come over, it means nothing
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
