Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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