I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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