Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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