He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
