she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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