I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
