you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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