k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize