I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
