Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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