she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
