what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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