I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
