Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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