Yo dont text me then not text me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
