Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
