So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
