M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
3 2 1 whiskey
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
