I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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