its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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