i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize