I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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