I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
