oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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