This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
